nineeyedoracle:
I’m so excited that it’s nearly fall, but disheartened all the same as I wasted my entire summer inside Joanns or sleeping while not at Joanns. :/!
And the impending winter months are always a little bit of a tall feat for me. I don’t like winter months. And they seem to last longer than anything else. (Likely, of course, because I don’t like them.) I can appreciate winter when I really open my eyes and try. But it’s a season I must try to appreciate, as everything about it assaults my being. Haha
I dislike being cold, which I always am, already. I dislike snow, a GREAT deal. I dislike the blah-grey constant of the sky that you can barely distinguish whether it’s a heavy overcast of clouds or merely the blah-tastic winter sky, itself. The ease with which depression hits many people, including myself. Though I will say that in recent years, this winter depression thing hasn’t been nearly as bad as it used to be! And I’m happy for that. But there’s still the struggle to stay happy, through all else about life that pulls one to negativity.
But autumn is so beautiful. It’s like a prior apology from the earth for what is to come. A golden token. A gift. The loaf of bread to sustain the imagination and mental health through the bare months. A thanks given by mother earth, to you, for bearing with her each year through her months of death before rebirth. Almost as if to say “Please don’t leave me. I know it’s ugly, but no one’s perfect and I don’t want to bare it alone.”
